As I state later in this post, nothing here is particularly original, but it is what I’m experiencing. I’ve been playing around with this for a while stretching for a clear application in my life. So instead of letting it all stew in my head, I’m just going to throw this out and hopefully let in stew in someone else’s.
I’ve been in the midst of some fairly eclectic reading the last few months, And the questions posed have impacted my mind profoundly; particularly with respect to the process of choosing. It seems there are a couple of possible methods for making significant life choices. The first is to choose either to seek or avoid a desired end; taking what is hopefully a long-term approach. The other is to make a momentary choice, based on immediate needs or desires. I think most of us opt for the latter path. But now at the age of forty-five I’m learning to make my choices following the first method. And yes, I’m a little old to be discovering this.
The problem is we don’t know the end. Our vision is murky at best. And if we did, our journey would be profoundly less fulfilling because every choice we made, would tend toward the avoidance of suffering. But what if we chose to suffer, and why would we make that choice? There would have to be a purpose and an end whose value is clearly worth the journey. But what if we can only see the painful path? Can we embrace the suffering without a view of the resolution? Can we find joy, contentment and value in our lives and relationships now, without knowing how they will end? One author I’ve been reading addresses life as a process of understanding both the physical and the human relationships that surround us; living out our principles as an example but resisting the temptation of trying make those relationships into something they aren’t; in short, relinquishing the need to control what we can’t control anyway.
None of this is particularly original but it is what I’m experiencing. On one hand my wife and I have been concerned with how we could best address the needs of my mother in law’s rapidly declining health, knowing that we were working towards an end we could clearly see approaching. And on the other hand, learning and at times agonizing over how to guide my very ADHD son into healthy, stable, adulthood without trying to control him, or force him into a mold that simply does fit; while at the same time trying not to predetermine the end of his story. And to top all of this off evaluating my personal vocation.
Why do I choose to do what I do, where I do it? I have been asking myself this question lately, as I do every year at this time. Again, if I’m honest, I’d admit my motivation is complicated. Maybe here I feel like my choices matter, like I can have an immediate impact. Teaching at Christian Heritage, is for me a tangible act of taking a long-term approach and observing the (hopefully positive) consequences of that choice, both in the life of this school and in the life of my son.
Like so many of the amazing teachers who have graced my classroom before me, I am working in a charitable institution that requires me find financial sponsors. As such, Samantha and I would like to invite readers to prayerfully consider sponsoring our family, either with a one-time donation, or for the current semester. I can’t imagine doing anything other than teaching. And I can’t imagine CHS not being here to offer the next class what it has offered me and my son. Most importantly, there simply aren’t enough words to express our gratitude to all those who have invested in us and in our work so far. Thank you all, a thousand times over for being a part of it.
For those interested in investing in our work at Christian Heritage School, simply click here